LEARNING AN INSTRUMENT: THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUST and PERSONALLY MEANINGFUL PURSUITS

As a returning piano student starting at age 76 in 2020 after a 58-year gap to do other art and business-related things, joy in making music, at least for my teachers, often took a second place to discipline, while my personal goals for piano lessons, time needs (no concert or recital on the horizon), and personality took a distance third.

Chapeau to my very first piano teacher for six months, Jennifer Perringer. She's still a teacher at the SF Community Music Center but also offers private lessons. I studied with her for my first six months solely on zoom because we were into the early pandemic.

Of all my teachers, Jennifer was my best, most respectful, pleasant, and encouraging one, including a very well known classical pianist who was also a piano store owner and vlogger.

Take a look at Jennifer's eyes in her professional headshot and you will immediately see what I mean. Add to that a look above at professional guitarist Lisa Liu's smile to see how playing music makes me feel. She's performing not long ago at the Glen Park neighborhood branch library.

My mother when I was 13, laid the foundation of my joy in music by buying Ms Bellamy, my little Baldwin spinet piano. Jennifer returned me to and enhanced my joy, while expanding my technique, theory, and confidence at the piano. Thereafter when I took a break after six months as I like to do, my adoration of music could only bloom outward from where it had rested for years deep inside. Today that joy continues to expand in depth and width over time, and no matter what.

Jennifer teaches in a manner that seems akin to this statement by one of my recent and respected poetry crafting teachers, Alison Luterman: "The Buddha is everywhere, but we miss most of Her manifestations because we're so busy looking for the Buddha".

Since December I've found resources outside of piano lessons, enough to serve my learning purposes via helpful, generous musical professionals who are friends or students more advanced than me, occasional piece coaches, and specific technique lessons offered by online teachers in video demonstrations. These are working well enough because by now I've had sufficient years of weekly lessons in the basics in theory and technique (at least as much as makes sense to me considering what my goals are) while the internet bloomed with myriad resource options to get me started on a viable self-learning process.

Maybe my composer friend's suggestion two years ago to consider a self-learning process was well placed after all. I thought it odd at the time because by then he had 40 years of piano teaching experience under his belt.

I've also thought it odd how often I was disheartened, sometimes devastated, and even crying after lessons. Something in piano lessons with most of my teachers was just not jiving with me. I've blogged several times to help me crystalize and articulate my thoughts. I've also discussed my experiences with a few empathetic, well-respected piano teachers to further understand, only to learn that my experiences and conclusions are not that rare among instrumental students.

Today I ran across an article that further explained my experiences.

The explanation has to do with trust and not much to do with discipline as the foundation of piano-learning progress and "success." The May 1 online Medium blog featured an article entitled: "Maybe self-control isn’t about willpower, but about who (and what) we trust".

Sadly, Medium is a subscription/membership writers' forum and newsletter so you can't read all of any article without paying and I'm not quite there yet, especially since this year I'm into a "no-buy" and "watch the quaking, insanely newly-tariffed economy, government devastation, and totalitarian consolidation under No. 47". (BTW may I recommend the online and even better app: goodsuniteus.com, should you wish to use your money to support humanistic businesses rather than the current regime)

None-the-less, what I could read in Medium got my attention, because self-control seems closely related to discipline:

"Researcher Riikka Iivanainen explores why self-control sometimes fails — and why that might not be a bad thing. Drawing on recent behavioral research, she suggests that lapses in willpower may serve an adaptive function, nudging us toward rest, play, or more personally meaningful pursuits (emphasis added). Studies show people are better able to summon self-control when they feel a sense of autonomy, interest, or purpose. Rather than a fixed trait or a limited resource, self-control may work more like a dynamic feedback system, helping us navigate shifting priorities and mental energy."

I'm here for dynamic feedback loops in a piano-learning context of mutual respect and co-creation.

Spark my imagination, "see" something of my well of passion and vitality for life and music, share ideas and conversation, with kindness raise a curtain from my eyes to see my mistake or celebrate with me some new wonder, listen to my suggestions as well and avoid defensiveness and "being right" as much as any one of us can while knowing my intentions are only the best for you, for us, and for music, and stick around for the long run by choice, working through inevitable rough edges - and we will become life-long, trusted friends.

And hopefully, I'll become a much better pianist and human being in the process.

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*Maybe I should have tried the Ridley Method to be able to "play the piano in ten days"?????